How to Keep a Positive Attitude When the Energy Vampires Attack


positive attitude

You’re the kind of person who grabs life by the lapels, puts yourself out there, and creates significant things out of thin air.

Assuming, of course, that life has lapels. But I think you get the point.

When you’re an instigator and creator of great things, it’s hard enough to keep yourself fired up and motivated to release your awesomeness into the world. And just when you feel like you have the world by the tail and things seem to be going your way…

Some energy vampire comes along and sucks all the life out of you with their negativity. They put doubt in your head, snuff out your burning desires, and trample your enthusiasm.

Even though you know you shouldn’t let them get to you, they do. All the doubt that you bravely shook off when you started down your path comes creeping back into your head.

It’s a horrible feeling – and it can take the wind out of your sails quickly.

If you haven’t heard it before, Energy Vampire is a term used to describe a person whose presence or actions have a negative affect on your attitude and motivation.

You know – those people who swoop in to your day from time to time, insert their negativity into your brain, and leave you feeling wiped out and bummed out.

You normally don’t see it coming, and by the time you realize what’s happening, your parade has already been rained on.

So how do you see an Energy Vampire coming, and counter their attack?

You need to develop a keen understanding of the different types of Energy Vampires: So you can anticipate their affects on you, and not burn any bridges with people you care about.

How to Spot an Energy Vampire Coming From a Mile Away

There are many types of energy vampires out there who can suck the positive attitude right out of you. Here are just a few…

The King of Blame 
Have you ever known someone who seems to spend a lot of time talking about how someone or something else is keeping them down? If it weren’t for that damn (boss, spouse, government, economy, etc.), they could get ahead. Never mind that they make poor choices over and over again… the blame lies elsewhere.

Not only can their whining kill your positive attitude, but they’re also more than happy to try to save you the same heartache by informing you that someone is waiting just around the corner to screw you over, too.

“I Breathe, Therefore I Deserve…”
Ahh, entitlement. These folks feel like they’re owed a leg up from the universe, and they love to point out how “lucky” you got whenever you succeed because of your hard work. These vampires yearn for success too… as long as it’s gift-wrapped and delivered to their door and they don’t have to work too hard for it.

The Defeatist
These people believe that no matter what you do, no good can come from it. These people can find the cloud in the silver lining like no one else. You won the lottery? Ohhh, man are you going to get screwed on the taxes!

Vacationing in Fiji? Don’t you know it’s humid there and the mosquitos are the size of rat terriers?

They feel like everything is going to turn out badly no matter what… so why even try?

Remember Debbie Downer?


Well-Meaning Dream Crushers
Unlike the rest of the energy vampires, most of these people mean well and think they’re helping. They’re someone who truly cares about you and honestly believe they’re protecting you from the big bad world and all its disappointments by unknowingly conditioning you to failure.

They figure that if they “teach” you these lessons, when you do fail, it won’t be so devastating. They might tell you that you’re not qualified for a particular type of work, or that you’re setting yourself up for heartache if you try something new.

The advice comes from a place of love – but it’s as destructive as any other kind of negativity.

The Green-Eyed Monsters
These Energy Vampires operate from a place of jealousy. They aren’t the type to take risks or put in extreme effort themselves, so when other people do and are rewarded for it, they envy them. They can’t feel happiness for the success of others.

Living Under The Bridge
The online world has its own version of Energy Vampires called trolls… and they’re always malicious. They’re called trolls because they hide in the dark and jump out of the shadows every once in a while to (often anonymously) attack others who have the guts to attempt something significant.

They’re mean-spirited, unhappy people, and like the story book trolls – usually can’t put a sentence together. Luckily, though, they’re the easiest to ignore because they lack even a shred of credibility.

Now that you know these people exist and that you will encounter them from time to time, let’s talk about what you can do to blow them off and keep your positive attitude in tact.

Four Positive Attitude Perspectives

1: It’s Not About You
Recognize that whatever these people have going on in their lives – it’s not about you. It may sound like it is… but it isn’t. Negative people are usually projecting their own life’s disappointments onto you, or they’re just unhappy people to begin with.

It’s not worth becoming angry or frustrated. When you understand that the negativity of others is rooted in their own personal disappointment, it’s easier to let it go and not take it personally.

2: Turn A Deaf Ear and A Blind Eye
Train yourself to not acknowledge the negativity. To dare to do amazing things takes confidence, fortitude, and strength. It’s uncommon. Not everyone dares to pull off significant things, so of course it looks odd to others.

If they can’t comprehend your positive attitude and big dreams, they’re going to have a negative take on it. Rise above. Don’t listen and forge ahead.

3. Keep it Simple
Don’t try and figure out the Energy Vampires. Spending your time over-analyzing their behavior gets you nowhere. Just accept the what (that they behave that way)… and don’t waste time on the why.

You can only fix a negative person when they want to be fixed. Focus on keeping your positive attitude.

4. Seek Connections With Positive People
Possibly most important of all, surround yourself with positive people, situations, and books. Keeping apositive attituderequires much more effort than having a negative attitude.

Stay on top of it and find a brain trust of positive people you can interact with on a regular basis. I can think of one such group of positive people off the top of my head.  🙂

A Positive Attitude Comes From Within

The bottom line is that having (and keeping) a positive attitude is up to you. As you create something significant in your work and life, there will be people who will intentionally try to destroy your confidence. There are also those who will unintentionally undermine your efforts in the process of trying to protect you.

Your confidence positivity has to come from inside you. Forge ahead and fight on despite your critics.

And regardless of the outcome, be proud that you’re the type of person who puts themselves out there and dares to dream.  That alone is a unique accomplishment and makes you someone worth following!

What’s been your experience with Energy Vampires and overcoming negative situations?

Let’s talk about it in the comments…


About Gary Korisko

Gary is a battle-tested sales and marketing pro, copywriter, coach, and business strategist who teaches how to create worthwhile work on Reboot Authentic. Connect with Gary on Google+ and Twitter.

13 Replies

  1. Victor

    First of all, I would like to thank Gary for very useful and interesting information – it’s really very inspiring!)

    And what about experience…

    I often face this kind of people, especially the Kings of Blame. 🙂
    Two of them were my flatmates (my buddy and his girlfriend), and this is a little story about how I managed to change their negative view on life.

    At first, when they were starting to moan, I was trying to help them. Just like: “Come on guys, I will give you my hand, I won’t leave you with your problems alone”. But then I figured out, that they didn’t need any help. They ignored my advices, paid no attention to proposed solutions. At the same time they went on moaning, blaming everything and everyone, and that really pissed me off.

    “Ok, guys”, said I, “let’s talk in other way. I don’t see you words match with your actions, that makes me sick and I really don’t want to hear it. Never. So I decided to move to another flat, where nobody spoils my mood with negative.”

    And then my flatmates started blaming each other, instead of drawing right conclusions. Ok, thought I, now it’s my turn to shut them up and give them the last chance.

    The terms were very simple: we take all issues and find optimal solution for each. And, after it, they start to resolve. With no help from my side, as I didn’t have any desire to do it. The only thing I was to do was not packing bags and leave them alone, but controlling the process.

    I should also mention the American view on life: I really appreciate it, as positive thinking really saves from apathy or depression (I’m from Ukraine). If you don’t do anything – you won’t have anything, cause nobody will do it for you: that is clear and logical! But here most of people, instead of thinking about how to solve the problem, try to find who is guilty (of course, not they).

    Having told them about positive thinking, the countdown started. I gave them one week.

    This kick-ass (sorry, but I can’t call it in other words) method worked: now, every time when they were moaning, a simple question like “Why?” or “So what do you need to do?” made them calm at once. When they really started doing something, I felt I’ve succeeded – now I returned my friends from the Kingdom of Blame (I would also add “and Apathy, or Laziness”).

    However, I moved to another flat, but they did the same thing, as they were not hardly making ends meet anymore. And I’m proud of them – we often meet on weekends, and finally talk about only positive things.

    1. Thanks for sharing your story, Victor. I’m glad you got something from the post!
      Gary Korisko recently posted…How to Keep a Positive Attitude When the Energy Vampires AttackMy Profile

  2. Awesome post Gary, I have met many of this energy suckers myself many times and I can confirm it can be a super negative influence on your life. Very good tips here to get rid of their negativity.
    Isabel Raynaud recently posted…Tarot de hoy gratisMy Profile

    1. Thanks, Isabel! It’s easy to get pulled in by them, isn’t it? Good to see you here & I appreciate you getting in on the conversation!
      Gary Korisko recently posted…How to Keep a Positive Attitude When the Energy Vampires AttackMy Profile

  3. Hi Gary! I know many, many Energy Vampires … well meaning and not so well meaning.

    With the holiday season upon us, I found myself reflecting on this very thing this morning. This weekend, the gatherings begin … with people that I generally wouldn’t spend my free time with on a regular basis, but somehow they’re a mainstay at this time of year. I’m trying to gird myself for the onslaught of negative energy.

    It’s not just that they suck out the positive energy … they also do their best to leave deposits of their negative energy before they sweep away into the night. It’s an “energy push and pull” and it goes all the way back to the school playground. (Think bullies, or their more positive compatriots, the playtime leaders/bosses.)

    I’m going in differently this year. Rather than reacting/responding to the negative energy that I feel the moment I walk into the room, I will put forth my own energy first and then sit back, watch and listen–like I’m watching a movie.

    As Eckhart Tolle says, we live in a world of forms. Go ahead and play with it, but remember it’s all just forms; a meager imitation of what is truly real when we work to see past them.
    T.O. Weller recently posted…Pinterest for Writers: 30 Tips and Resources to Get You StartedMy Profile

    1. Hi T.O. — Nice to see you here.

      Glad to hear you have a plan – because they really are everywhere, aren’t they? Thanks for sharing your insights.
      Gary Korisko recently posted…How to Keep a Positive Attitude When the Energy Vampires AttackMy Profile

  4. Hi Gary,
    That was a very interesting post. I can relate it to myself. I too know a lot of energy vampires and they fill my day with negativity. However, the article is really informative too. Thanks for sharing it with us.

  5. For me the most negative energy suckers I have found in my life have always been people from my own family and believe me that it has been a little hell of a problem to get rid of the bad feelings a family member throw at you. Love your post and your advice in this common but terrible problem.
    Iván S. recently posted…Fitbit Surge, análisis a fondoMy Profile

  6. Great article, Gary. I’m sure we all have some of those energy vampires lurking about trying to bring us down. I even have one in my head I call Mr. IC (Inner Critic) and he often tells me that my writing isn’t up to standard and why bother putting it out there? It will only be rejected anyhow.

    This year I hope to write more consistently and work on one of my many novel ideas gathering dust as I have so many I’ve started and then abandoned. My online critique group must be fed up with me.

    Another goal is to stop procrastinating on social media and use that time for writing but that’s another topic for another blog post, right? 😉 Hahaha!
    Cathy recently posted…The New Year Has Begun!My Profile

  7. I had to click on this post when I saw the SNL pic. 😀

    I’m very happily married but have had an off and on struggle with my husband of 20+ years and his negative attitude. He’s mostly positive but whenever he’s dealing with the unknown he always assumes the worst will happen. I really don’t get it and it’s the polar opposite of how my brain works. Lol I tell him his negativity is killing my soul and I can’t take it, it feels like I’m drowning.

    I think some people are just naturally negative despite their best intentions. We were burned up by the 2015 Valley Fire (we lost 5 outbuildings, a horse, a dog, chickens, two vehicles, quads, two tractors, equipment trailers, a big travel trailer, 30+ big redwood trees, and all his tools) and surprisingly in the past year or so, my husband has made HUGE improvements and has started looking for the positive in all situations, but he does backslide. I can’t imagine dealing with this fire, all the insurance companies and rebuilding if he was super negative.
    Shelly recently posted…Cube Steak Pizza Burger RecipeMy Profile

  8. I appreciate that you offer suggestions for counterbalancing the negativity!

    For too many years I was stuck in #3 (trying to figure out why someone was acting a certain way or how I could help change it, etc.). It’s draining and time consuming. As I started meeting more positive people in life, I realized it was just plain healthier.

    I still get caught off guard by negative attitudes but try to use it as an opportunity to put courage into practice. Courage to look past it so it doesn’t hinder me while still remaining respectful to the person.
    Jenn recently posted…17 Bible Verses to Calm Your NervesMy Profile

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