You’re the kind of person who grabs life by the lapels, puts yourself out there, and creates significant things out of thin air.
Assuming, of course, that life has lapels. But I think you get the point.
When you’re an instigator and creator of great things, it’s hard enough to keep yourself fired up and motivated to release your awesomeness into the world. And just when you feel like you have the world by the tail and things seem to be going your way…
Some energy vampire comes along and sucks all the life out of you with their negativity. They put doubt in your head, snuff out your burning desires, and trample your enthusiasm.
Even though you know you shouldn’t let them get to you, they do. All the doubt that you bravely shook off when you started down your path comes creeping back into your head.
It’s a horrible feeling – and it can take the wind out of your sails quickly.
If you haven’t heard it before, Energy Vampire is a term used to describe a person whose presence or actions have a negative affect on your attitude and motivation.
You know – those people who swoop in to your day from time to time, insert their negativity into your brain, and leave you feeling wiped out and bummed out.
You normally don’t see it coming, and by the time you realize what’s happening, your parade has already been rained on.
So how do you see an Energy Vampire coming, and counter their attack?
You need to develop a keen understanding of the different types of Energy Vampires: So you can anticipate their affects on you, and not burn any bridges with people you care about.
How to Spot an Energy Vampire Coming From a Mile Away
There are many types of energy vampires out there who can suck the positive attitude right out of you. Here are just a few…
The King of Blame
Have you ever known someone who seems to spend a lot of time talking about how someone or something else is keeping them down? If it weren’t for that damn (boss, spouse, government, economy, etc.), they could get ahead. Never mind that they make poor choices over and over again… the blame lies elsewhere.
Not only can their whining kill your positive attitude, but they’re also more than happy to try to save you the same heartache by informing you that someone is waiting just around the corner to screw you over, too.
“I Breathe, Therefore I Deserve…”
Ahh, entitlement. These folks feel like they’re owed a leg up from the universe, and they love to point out how “lucky” you got whenever you succeed because of your hard work. These vampires yearn for success too… as long as it’s gift-wrapped and delivered to their door and they don’t have to work too hard for it.
These people believe that no matter what you do, no good can come from it. These people can find the cloud in the silver lining like no one else. You won the lottery? Ohhh, man are you going to get screwed on the taxes!
Vacationing in Fiji? Don’t you know it’s humid there and the mosquitos are the size of rat terriers?
They feel like everything is going to turn out badly no matter what… so why even try?
Remember Debbie Downer?
Well-Meaning Dream Crushers
Unlike the rest of the energy vampires, most of these people mean well and think they’re helping. They’re someone who truly cares about you and honestly believe they’re protecting you from the big bad world and all its disappointments by unknowingly conditioning you to failure.
They figure that if they “teach” you these lessons, when you do fail, it won’t be so devastating. They might tell you that you’re not qualified for a particular type of work, or that you’re setting yourself up for heartache if you try something new.
The advice comes from a place of love – but it’s as destructive as any other kind of negativity.
The Green-Eyed Monsters
These Energy Vampires operate from a place of jealousy. They aren’t the type to take risks or put in extreme effort themselves, so when other people do and are rewarded for it, they envy them. They can’t feel happiness for the success of others.
Living Under The Bridge
The online world has its own version of Energy Vampires called trolls… and they’re always malicious. They’re called trolls because they hide in the dark and jump out of the shadows every once in a while to (often anonymously) attack others who have the guts to attempt something significant.
They’re mean-spirited, unhappy people, and like the story book trolls – usually can’t put a sentence together. Luckily, though, they’re the easiest to ignore because they lack even a shred of credibility.
Now that you know these people exist and that you will encounter them from time to time, let’s talk about what you can do to blow them off and keep your positive attitude in tact.
Four Positive Attitude Perspectives
1: It’s Not About You
Recognize that whatever these people have going on in their lives – it’s not about you. It may sound like it is… but it isn’t. Negative people are usually projecting their own life’s disappointments onto you, or they’re just unhappy people to begin with.
It’s not worth becoming angry or frustrated. When you understand that the negativity of others is rooted in their own personal disappointment, it’s easier to let it go and not take it personally.
2: Turn A Deaf Ear and A Blind Eye
Train yourself to not acknowledge the negativity. To dare to do amazing things takes confidence, fortitude, and strength. It’s uncommon. Not everyone dares to pull off significant things, so of course it looks odd to others.
If they can’t comprehend your positive attitude and big dreams, they’re going to have a negative take on it. Rise above. Don’t listen and forge ahead.
3. Keep it Simple
Don’t try and figure out the Energy Vampires. Spending your time over-analyzing their behavior gets you nowhere. Just accept the what (that they behave that way)… and don’t waste time on the why.
You can only fix a negative person when they want to be fixed. Focus on keeping your positive attitude.
4. Seek Connections With Positive People
Possibly most important of all, surround yourself with positive people, situations, and books. Keeping apositive attituderequires much more effort than having a negative attitude.
Stay on top of it and find a brain trust of positive people you can interact with on a regular basis. I can think of one such group of positive people off the top of my head. 🙂
A Positive Attitude Comes From Within
The bottom line is that having (and keeping) a positive attitude is up to you. As you create something significant in your work and life, there will be people who will intentionally try to destroy your confidence. There are also those who will unintentionally undermine your efforts in the process of trying to protect you.
Your confidence positivity has to come from inside you. Forge ahead and fight on despite your critics.
And regardless of the outcome, be proud that you’re the type of person who puts themselves out there and dares to dream. That alone is a unique accomplishment and makes you someone worth following!
What’s been your experience with Energy Vampires and overcoming negative situations?
Let’s talk about it in the comments…