One Simple Secret of the Insanely Successful


Are you ready for your secret to success? The obligatory internet simple tip?

There’s no making you wait for this one. No magic copywriting formula to tempt you along deeper and deeper into the copy today.

No, this one is pretty simple.

If you really want significant things to happen in your life, it’s pretty cut and dried.

It’s not just about you.

That’s it. Tah-dah. Secret blown.

Why Am I Writing at 3am?

It’s 3:00am at my house right now and as I sit here in typing away with my laptop illuminating a tiny portion of the otherwise pitch black room, I feel compelled to share this message with you right now.

It’s not just about you.

Not that you’re not interesting or important. You are. It’s just that so many of us get so caught up in our own individual successes, looking good, or getting attention that we forget why we’re really here.

We’re here to make life better for others. To create experiences, to teach, to share, and to enrich.

Attention, fame, and money are poor substitutes for satisfaction, pride, and gratitude. If you can have them all together, you should by all means go for it… but forced to pick – pick the latter every time.

It’s not just about you.

For Adults Only

The important stuff is all about other people. Your family, your friends, your customers… and the people you help (who have never given you a penny) who you may never meet.

If you haven’t figured it out in your own life already, you need to learn to put others before yourself.

Wade out of the shallow end of the pool and come tread water with us in the deep end. It’s more fulfilling and less crowded – plus the kids tend to pee in the shallow end.

If you’re hesitant to step outside your “me” box… then maybe you’re not ready. I won’t push you.

But for those of you who are, let’s talk.

Something Much Bigger Is Going On

I remember the day I became a father. It was my wedding day. My wife had a five year old son when we married… and I loved that kid. But as much as I loved him, something sobering struck me that day: As unequipped as I may have felt at that point in time to be responsible for another human life other than my own… I understood that something big had changed.

My wife and new son depended on me, and my life was no longer just about me. Not that I could no longer pursue my dreams or goals or anything like that. I could. I just realized that there were a couple of people in line before me whose needs came first.

I wasn’t the center of my own little world anymore.

While that may sound awful to some people who only have themselves to answer to, it isn’t. It’s actually a very nice feeling. It’s a feeling of comfort and strength. It’s a feeling of being able to contribute significantly to something much bigger and important than yourself.

Over the years, we’ve added two more boys to the line in front of me – and I have no regrets. My boys are the three best things my wife and I have ever done with our lives.

It took me years to realize it, but the simple truth is that life is richer when it is lived for others. <— click to Tweet that!

It’s true with regard to your family, your friends, your business, and even with complete strangers. You can achieve more and live a happier life by putting others first.

It’s not just about you.

It’s Your Responsibility

Putting others first isn’t really about sacrifice or giving up personal happiness – although those things are sometimes part of the deal. It’s really about getting what you want in a whole new way: through the happiness of others.

When there’s a disagreement between friends… be the one who breaks the ice and says, “I’m sorry.”

When someone needs to tackle the crappy project at work that no one wants in order to lighten the load for the whole team… let that be you.

Give someone else the last piece of pie.

Give up your seat on the bus.

Whatever. Put others first.

Your spouse.
Your kids.
Your parents.
Your friends.
Your boss.
Your co-workers.
Your employees.
Your customers.
Your prospects.

Try it out. Put their needs before your own and watch what happens.

It’s not about being a doormat and letting people walk all over you. It’s not about never tending to your own needs. It’s about maturity, seeing the bigger picture, and living big instead of living small.

Remember My 5 Year Old?

Back to why I’m up typing this at 3am.

Remember my 5 year old I told you about? He grew up. I was the best man at his wedding a couple years back. That was another of the proudest days of my life.

My wife, my other two sons, and I have been waiting for hours for a text from him and his wife. It finally came just a short while ago. She’s been in labor most of the afternoon, When the text finally came, it said…

“He’s here!”

The best messages are short and sweet, aren’t they? Now as a new father, my oldest son is in the position I was in all those years ago… and I know he’ll step up.

It’s not just about him now.

When you put others first, they make your world bigger and better every single day.

That “little boy” who came into my life all those years ago continues to make my world bigger and bigger. Quite literally today.

Not that this isn’t a great conversation, but I have to get some sleep. I have a baby to play with in the morning 🙂


Now you…
How do you put others first – and how does it pay off? Let’s talk about it in the comments.

About Gary Korisko

Gary is a battle-tested sales and marketing pro, copywriter, coach, and business strategist who teaches how to create worthwhile work on Reboot Authentic. Connect with Gary on Google+ and Twitter.

20 Replies

  1. Renia Carsillo

    Gary this is beautiful! Congratulations!

    1. Thank you Renia… for this and for all the social media shares! I’m glad this hit home with you 🙂

  2. William_Drop_Dead_Money

    Congrats, Gramps! Timing worked out well, didn’t it? 😉

    1. Thanks, William. It sure did. I got to enjoy some amazing learning and bonding in Montreal with you all… and still not miss this amazing event. I’m very fortunate and grateful.

  3. Yvonne Root

    Congratulations, Gary! Papahood is even better than fatherhood. At least that’s what the Papa in my life tells me.

    1. Yvonne…

      If day 1 is any indication, I’d say it’s going to be pretty wonderful. Thank you very much!

  4. Tokisam

    Lovely post – congratulations on becoming a Granddad.
    Your post reminded me of another post I read recently about serving others. It recommended changing an attitude of I have to drop the kids off, pick the kids up, etc. to I GET to pick the kids up and in return feel the happiness in being a part of their life.

    1. Great point!

      Imagine if one day you no longer had the kids to drop off… or whatever “have to” responsibility you’re dealing with. When you think in those terms, “Have to” becomes “get to” pretty quickly. Thanks for the congratulations and the comment.

  5. Everything about this post gets a “Yeah, baby!” (pun intended)

    1. Hey Joel!

      Good to see you back among us, buddy. Thanks for the comment… and the patented Zaslofsky enthusiasm that comes along with it. 🙂

  6. Sophie Lizard

    He’s adorable. I’m no longer rewarding your blogging brilliance with compliments — not until you go and play!

    1. Blackmail now, is it Lizard? Or is that extortion? I get my felonies mixed up all the time.

      I’ve stopped and smelled plenty of roses in the last 24 hours and it’s been wonderful. Easily one of the best days of my life to date. Thanks for the comment and the poke. I appreciate it!

  7. Laura Leigh Clarke

    Awww – huge congratulations Gary! You must be very very proud.

    Does your son know your plans to be the “mischievious granddad” who gives his little one candy and cola before sending him home when he’s older? Oh what fun and games you’re going to have. So glad he’s finally arrived! Congratulations to your son and his wife too :))

    1. Thank you, thank you.

      And yeah – my son knows what he’s up against. He knows all my tricks. If he’s smart he’ll just stay out of the way and let me do my thing 🙂

  8. Terrence Blair

    Congratulation on having your first grandchild.

    And thanks for reminding us in this wonderful post that we’re not the center of everything; and the importance of putting others first.

    Your article reminds me of a small book called the Meditation by Marcus Aurelius in which he encouraged us to always do good — even to those who have never done us good.

    1. Thank you for the congratulations, Terrence.

      And you know what’s interesting? When you do the right thing… you wind up getting what you want in the long term anyway more often than not. Not always – but most of the time 🙂

      Hope to see you back here in the comments soon.

  9. *late to the comment party on this one- but the post was perfectly on time for me-exactly-what I’ve been thinking about this week. Thanks for such an on-spot post. It’s about service, every time. Great reminder! (and congrats on being a ‘grand’ dad 🙂

    1. Better late than never, Trica. Thanks for weighing in!

      Very nice to have you here & hope we see you a lot more 🙂
      Gary Korisko recently posted…Is Disqus Killing Your Blog? Why (and How) I Pulled the PlugMy Profile

  10. I feel this is among the so much vital info for me.
    And i’m happy studying your article. But wanna remark
    on few normal issues, The site style is ideal, the articles is really great : D.
    Just right process, cheers
    google recently posted…googleMy Profile

  11. Pretty part of content. I juist stumbled upon your weblog and
    in accession capital to claim that I acquire in fact loved account your blog posts.
    Anyway I will be subscribing in your augment or even I fulfillment you access consistently
    seo Hatfield recently posted…seo HatfieldMy Profile

Leave a Reply

CommentLuv badge